This is my first edition for 2013 of “Hi, I’m Ms. Bean and I’m such a pro at embarrassing myself”. Fresh from a very recent facepalm moment with a jeepney driver, I tried to remember things I said and did as of late. I’m sure there are lots more stuff I said and did which I failed to recognize as such.
Exhibit A: Tuesday night at Rizal Memorial Football Stadium. Turkmenistan players warming up. Told C I like the way they look: so fierce, but a little on the pale side. What are they, Eastern Europeans? Or western? I’m confused. C was like, “Uhhh… no…they’re Asian.” And she looked at me as if to say, “SEE, THEY ARE COMPETING IN THE ASIAN CHALLENGE CUP.” C was too nice not to rub it in. Hahaha.
Exhibit B: Walking to ArmyNavy. I was telling L about internal organs I can sell so I can raise funds to go to the Maldives. I blurted I will sell a pinch of my lung because it grows back anyway. L said, “You mean liver, right?” OF COURSE, I DID. Well, they both start with the letter L. Ah, whatever.
Exhibit C: Japanese restaurant in P. Ocampo. I caught up with P and J in the middle of a conversation about a Will Smith movie. I heard the terms “lots of running”, “post-apocalypse”, and “futuristic” so I immediately butted in and gave my opinion on I am Legend. They had blank stares afterwards as they were actually talking about Hancock. To be fair to me, would you consider Hancock post-apocalyptic? And creepy vampiric (non-sparkling) creatures can be considered futuristic. What if they do exist in the future?!
By the way, J, we go way back with this. He was the one who asked me what does Yo No Se in the Luis Enrique song mean. I said “I don’t know.” He told me, “I thought you’re learning Spanish. How come you don’t know?” Took us 2 more rounds of that before I finally got it across that yo no se means I don’t know.
Exhibit D: Holy Wednesday. I was the only one left inside the jeep and le driver talked to me via the rearview mirror, mumbled something about changing the drop off point. See, I always nod because it’s almost always “I won’t turn right to Dagonoy anymore”, which I don’t mind because my short walk home from the drop off point is the same whichever way. So I just nodded. He stopped in front of 7-Eleven Onyx which I ignored because I thought he’s waiting for passengers. I even put back my earphones on. Probably two songs after, I looked at the driver’s seat and le driver was gone! Then bam, he was right there with me inside the jeepney. I panicked inside. OMG what’s he going to do to me? Should I scream for help? I took off my earphones and I heard him say, “Ma’am sabi ko po kanina hanggang dito lang ako sa 7-Eleven so kung ok lang po, baba na kayo para makagarahe na ako. (Ma’am, I said earlier, my last stop was 7-Eleven. So if it’s ok with you, please go down so I can park my jeep.)”
I was so mortified I cannot say anything! I immediately went down and said sorry but without looking back. It reminded me of my grace-less exit at the supermarket last year.
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I should start jotting these moments down again. It could make for some pretty funny script for a sitcom, which what my life is like after all. I know this is one of the reasons not a few have said I look youthful. A key is to laugh at yourself when you get the chance. Don’t take life seriously. I mean, not too seriously. Stress causes clogged arteries and with the state of our existing HMO coverage, might as well not risk it. 😉