Go away.

I told someone I will not post anything about this topic because I learned a hard lesson in the past.  However, I always break my promises to him so not doing this will be so out of character.  This is probably nothing anyway.

So, I’ve been occupied with thoughts and renewed feelings for someone (the dormant kind, lulubog lilitaw, for five years) and frankly, I enjoyed little moments thrown my way.  I once again laid out a path and pushed my moves a teeny tiny bit further because I only have until December as he’s leaving the country for good.  Note that this is about the one person (let’s call him G1) who can make me blush.  I don’t know what’s the anatomical explanation for such but it’s true; I’ve had crushes and people I sorta fell in love with yet I very rarely blushed then.  Anyway, I digress.  A bit.

What puzzles me (note the verb…not confuses nor gets me reconsidering) is why, of all moments, one person (G2) still popped in my dream — twice — even to only comment, “Your smile is so fake; are you okay?” while playing poker (it’s a dream, hey).  In the other dream, he appeared behind me as I was about to cry — because G1 confessed his love to someone else through a song (in an Elliot Yamin voice, wtf) — and, a beer bottle in hand, told everyone, “She’s fine.  She just needs to cry this one out.”

I refuse to overthink things because I have lots in my hands right now but I’m still a little puzzled.  I haven’t seen this person in weeks and we have not really communicated in a while, save for a few e-mails.

Anyway, maybe this is a loyalty check of sorts which my smug subconscious is doing to me.  I am still for G1 at the moment and I’m riding it until it lasts, until it is still making sense.  I just wanted to let it out aaaand here it is.

4 thoughts on “Go away.

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