I feel so relaxed watching people. I don’t mean it in a creepy, stalkerish kind of way. See, in between reading while having iced coffee, I enjoy looking at people walking; observing their behavior, and occasionally – although incidentally – listening in to conversations.
I take pleasure from looking at a busy canvas. This explains why, if given a choice, I would like a high rise condo unit overlooking the city, the business district, than one overlooking the bay. I love staying in beach resorts but the tranquility of the beach front gets old easily.
I do not know where this stemmed from given my short attention span for crowds. I never liked being with groups of people for long periods of time. It doesn’t mean I dislike people; if anything, I even have what we can call “passive fascination”. However, I tend to move away after sometime, and rejoin when I feel like it. I remember a party at the home of one of my former officemates; in the midst of the party, I retreated to a corner of his makeshift library and he caught me, a glass of wine in hand, reading Franz Kafka. He gave the book to me before I went home that night. Also during our enjoyable game nights in SanLo, during eating breaks, I would go upstairs and sit on the floor in front of the Howes’ huge bookshelves. I functioned much better because of it.
I guess I am leaning towards introversion. Yes, I do know many people, but it doesn’t mean they know me, too. I am known to share lots of things to people I feel affinity for but not to sound eerie, I am keeping more things inside me. I once told someone I am a big tip of an iceberg, pun intended.
I like what people see in me now. I reached a point where I was working hard to ensure that people see me in a way that I want to be seen. Until I grew up. Well, sort of. I got tired keeping up. So I learned to simply sift. My energy can only last long and I learned to use them on activities I love and people I want to be with. There are still lapses and boredom and confusion and disappointment but I’m wading my way through them each time.
Anyway, my bottomline is that I like people. And that I made it through another attempt at an introspective post using Sascha. Like people, I’m beginning to like her now.
Have a great Wednesday night, you all.