quicksand

  •  Three things made me happy today: (1) I had dinner with one of my bestfriends, (2) the Leadership Day Committee met for the first time and I got excited over the action items, and (3) Matt Giraud is returning next week on American Idol.

 

  • quicksand1I was still teased by a friend about something that happened to him which he directly accused me to be at fault. Since I love him dearly, I returned his snide remarks with a request, or a “forced favor” if you may, to give me a ride to Makati. I don’t care about his issues, I am more concerned about the horrendous rush hour traffic in Buendia. Hahaha! I love you, friend. You’re still yummy. See, I blogged it. BECAUSE I ALWAYS DO ANYWAY. =)
  •  

  • Crazy Fingers in Greenbelt 2 is not good. Would it be better had we not availed the dinner promo? Me thinks no. Meanwhile, if The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf has the best tea drinks in town, Starbucks has the best coffee jelly, Figaro has the most effective “If you want to stay up for two days straight with palpitations on the side, drink me”  beverages, UCC has the best coffee Americano blend, I confirmed, after a year, that Seattle’s Best Coffee has the most amazing mocha drinks ever.
  •  

  • ML said she did a little something, was accused of something larger than the ‘something’, was totally judged because of it, and in the end, was left sad and alone. She now wants to do again that little ‘something’, she will then be accused and judged again anyway; however, maybe, she will be happy this time. Did it make sense? For me it did. And I want to do it, too.
  •  

  • It is finally sinking in. It is not the same anymore.  Once again, let me tell you, I requested, twice, to be told off in a very straightforward manner but got no reaction. So, am I to assume that everything should already be UNDERSTOOD? That’s not fair. The only one I would believe without seeing is GOD. The rest, I have to see, and at least be told about.  It’s not hard to do, is it? I know I’m intelligent but there are things I still need to know as they are. Hm, maybe I am not stopping after all. Oh, it’s PMS season, the bitchfest is on! LOL.
  •  

  • If you are holding a thin book with its first chapter bearing the screaming title in bold letters, The Deflowering Of Rosie Little, you should realize that your entire earthly body definitely needs a rest.
  •  

  • stewie-bitch-tdog0105ML had the greatest time poking me with, “O ano, uulit ka pa?” in reference to my crazy ordeal. I did not say anything. When talking about her own crazy ordeal, she kept on mouthing, “Ayoko na, ayoko na talaga.” which gave me the cue to tell her in turn, “I refuse to listen to you because I’ve heard it too many times, and hindi mo naman ginagawa.” So yeah we’re really bestfriends because we’re fucked up the same way. In truth, at one point, it’s our society and our enviroment during our formative years that are at fault. They were the ones who conditioned us that our “kind”, our “breed”, our “level”, are not expected to do things that can be considered inappropriate. To illustrate, I vividly remember our high school guidance counselor telling us to refrain from engaging in fights with other girls in the campus, implying that when these groups cuss, make a scene, throw a fit, be caught doing adventurous and borderline nasty stuff, it’s fine to an extent kasi “ganun sila”, pero kami, no…the worst part of the argument being, YOU ARE HONOR STUDENTS! SECTION ONE PA NAMAN KAYO! Many years down the road, this upbringing caused us to do things we thought could make us happy, then retract dahil supposedly meron kaming konsensya and image to uphold. Hindi nakatulong ang value formation na yun in doing our pagpapariwara moments, and not because we want to be pariwara. Minsan parang yun lang kasi ang paraan, you know, to let loose, to be more daring, to be more bold and frank, kasi we have to get something we want. Pero no!!! Apparently we have been raised and trained to be fucking special, to be achievers, to be role models, pero you know what? Most of us are not happy now. Hahaha, I’m ranting! My rebellious streak came too late!
  •  

  • Again, it’s finally sinking in but I still can’t find it in me to stop. I don’t know if it’s because of my nature to compete but the good part of me just wants something small and harmless as a presence, because only after that can I determine what will I do next.

5 thoughts on “quicksand

  1. hah! being too good sometimes has its price. judiefriend don’t be surprise if you’ll get another long email from me.

    — “the good part of me just wants something small and harmless as a presence” <<< nakakatouch to..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s