i haven’t slept so i’ll just “rationalize” house

IT’S 4 A.M. AND I’M STILL UP. GUESS I’D BE TROOPING TO WORK TOMORROW WITH NO SLEEP AT ALL.

OH I’M TYPING IN CAPS.

i watched let them eat cake for two straight times. i bared my initial thoughts on it and i got to say i feel much the same now.

office sharing for house and cuddy was exciting in itself and i was amused to see that cuddy can also be mean as house. well, she’s the boss. anyway, house, in one of his i’ll piss you more acts, took all office furnitures out of his (their) office. did not work at first because when house worked on the floor, cuddy did too. then there goes the week-long anticipated conversation:

house: you’re not stopping me (with biopsies) because of medical reasons. you’re stopping me because you have the hots for me.
cuddy: (throws her mobile on the floor and stands up) you’re still here because you have the hots for me.
house: evidenced by the fact that i was the one who moved into your office.
cuddy: it’s the biggest office, and i wasn’t the one who destroyed…
house: why are you dressed like that? (cuddy’s dressed a bit provocatively actually) why do you try so hard to get my attention? are you screwing with me?
cuddy: are you screwing with me??!
house: depends on your answer.
(eyesex, hahaha)
cuddy: everybody knows this is going somewhere. i think we’re supposed to kiss now.
house: we already did that.
(eyesex ulit)
house: (grabs cuddy’s left boob) seems like the next logical step.
cuddy: (disappointed – hell, i would be too) really…? i’m an idiot for being surprised…(walks away)
house: (holds on to the boob) can you leave these?

cuddy looked at him in disappointment and he dropped his hand.

there. that’s what happened. and i still maintain that house didn’t do it because he’s primarily a jerk. he got scared (or whatever term close to it) when cuddy stepped up with her “everybody knows…” line. house wasn’t so ready to give an answer to that so instead of not giving one at all, he just retreated by appearing like a total jackass. when cuddy retreated herself, he could have just let go of the boob as well but i just *think* a part of him tried to salvage whatever reverse possibility that conversation could end up in but freaking out prevailed so he still just said something as jackassy as the first.

you know what, i’m not going to think that way had house not spoken to taub two scenes after that. he really was affected. note that while they were still “sharing”, he designated the inner half of his small office table to cuddy and he took the outer half, making them face each other while sharing the desk. when taub walked in on him, he still was on his “side” of the desk and was intently looking at the chair where cuddy’s supposed to be.

house: when you were philandering with impunity, how did that feel?
taub: superficially, i loved it, but deep down i think i was miserable. why, what’s going on?
house: you weren’t miserable. you gave something away to make a relationship work. you rationalized you’re getting something back.

a few patient-related lines after, he managed to blurt out “cuddy does not always get what she wants.”

that said a lot to me. see, this is what i think it was: philandering with impunity=messing/flirting with cuddy; superficially, he loves it. deep down he said it’s not misery, while doing the “superficial” thing to cuddy, he’s feeling something deep down which appears he’s giving something away to make a relationship work. he rationalized that he’s getting something back…and cuddy even reinforced it by letting her shrieking harpy guard down, as evidenced above. house was simply freaked out. and we could not fault him for it. part of it’s because of who he is but in general, many people are like that.

hell, i am even like that. and trust me, i’ve been with enough jaded people in college, and recently fell in love with yet another one, to tell this to you with much greater air of certainty than usual.

anyway, house/cuddy fans were touched, and so was i, when cuddy discovered someone actually contacted her mother to haul out her old med school desk to put it in her renovated office.  based on the way wilson asked questions and how he pushed cuddy to notice the desk, they all told me that it may not be house after all who gave it to her. it could be wilson who did it and he would say it’s house’s idea…or he would not claim any knowledge of it at all. that’s just so wilson. of course, if it turns out next week that house actually did give cuddy the desk, then well and good. except that in the last scene, when a happy cuddy went to house’s office after the “desk” discovery, she saw him with a guest patient who apparently was a hooker. cuddy didn’t go as planned and just turned away, very dejected. many said she could have misinterpreted. whichever’s the case, house is house. it must be what lisa edelstein hinted in an interview that (i’m paraphrasing), just when you thought there’s some maturing to the relationship, it will turn the other way because that is so house. okay.

i’m still psyched to watch the christmas episode next tuesday. hooray for unresolved sexual tension of middle age doctors!

and oh, i still want to be cuddy when i grow up =). 

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