A momentary silence

My cousins’ mom died today. From what we were told, she slipped in the bathroom, hit her head on the wall and unfortunately never regained consciousness.

My Aunt Yolly has been estranged from all of us, yes, including her children since they were little. She left when my cousin Andy, the youngest of five, was only six. He’s now 22. She came back irregularly but on those occasions always made her children felt that she loved all of them dearly. I think I last saw her during the wake of my cousin Alvin, her middle child, in 2002.

Things happened and her second child and only daughter, Eden now lives near her as she married someone who lives in the same area in Laguna.

It was sad because Andy just paid them a visit two days ago. He came home only this afternoon, with happy news about her and my Ate Eden’s daughter whom he has not seen since she was born. Mom said that less than an hour after Andy came home, there was a message that Aunt Yolly died. Andy tried calling the number but it was unattended, so he dismissed it as a prank. Andy slept and that’s when we confirmed that yes, it’s true. We haven’t told Andy yet but Mom asked him to go back to Laguna tomorrow “to check what’s the truth”. We just can’t tell Andy now.

It’s devastating to lose a parent, especially when the mood is still very festive. What’s sadder is that she’s only 47!

It also affects me that my Mom is very uneasy about it. She suddenly felt something, a lot of different things, wrong with her. I think it’s an anxiety attack. I’m trying to lift her up but she’s very troubled. She said she knows how it happened as she sometimes feel dizzy while in the bathroom, too. I told myself to put a rubber mat in the bathroom floor tomorrow because it might only be irrational fear, but it’s better to be safe all the time. It’s weird, I know, but it creeps me out a bit.

For now, I am praying for the eternal repose of the soul of my aunt. It was a run of mostly lows, if we speak of her relationship with my uncle and my grandmother…and my Mom and other two uncles who all took charge of raising five children when she left; something that I know had she been presented a choice, she would have done in a way that will be best for her children. She has a new partner and a seven-year old kid, and I’m assuming she led a pretty good life in the recent years, her other children having all grown and still loving her, with adorable grandchildren to boot.

Everything happens for a reason and while it’s never really easy to accept, she’s now off to a better place.

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