Thursday, in short, simple terms

I woke up late. After lunch, I received a call from E that the bank f*cked up the payroll accounts. Good thing I had to go to Citibank to have my ATM card replaced. I must have rendered it unreadable three times because it’s so damn sensitive. I was in Citibank Binondo at 2 p.m. and by 2:15 I was waiting for a cab, got impatient so I braved the dust and dirt of Manila and rode a jeep to get to Robinson’s.

I bought birthday gifts for my wonderful friends, E and Rach. Topshop and Topman were on sale. I was too weak so I gave in. And Essenses ripped some money off from me, too. I should not be allowed to go anywhere that sells things when it’s my payday.

Mom and I had a quick merienda at Dulcinea. My head was throbbing like hell. I downed 2 analgesics. Instead of getting better, my head hurt twice as much. Mom found a cue to berate me about my sleeping habits and warned me that the pain will not go away unless I sleep.

At 5 p.m., still with a bad headache, we headed to Tia Maria’s for E’s dinner. She moved it from TriNoma because it’s more inconvenient. It was a fun gathering. The killer line of the night from the celebrant was, “Patay na ba si Jay Ilagan?”

Eise???!!!!

When we got home, I still did not listen to my mother and went to bed at 2 a.m. And that’s only because I got bored in front of the computer. I finally got to register Rach’s iPod and fill it with some songs. The problem was, I cannot seem to import videos. I told myself I will find out why tomorrow. I must be doing something wrong.

And gosh, 80GB?! I was mentally counting how much I’ll use up IFF I got one of my own, and seasons after seasons of my favorite shows + hundreds of songs I like (not know) won’t even reach half of it. See, my 4GB Mini is only half-full and I’m already drowned with the number of songs it has.

Anyway, I must have drifted off to dreamland around 2:45 a.m. What did I do?

I cried myself to sleep.

For those who really know me, I do that when I have trouble sleeping. It was justfied by my tested theory that it is easier to sleep when you have exhausted yourself from crying. Yeah, I’m weird. So as usual, I thought of some unfortunate romantic scenario where I would be very hurt. I’m hormonally imbalanced as it is so I cry easily. In some far-off thought, it must be the reason why I hold on to this idea that no matter what happens, I will be left behind by any man I will love and I am doomed to grow old alone. Really, I believe that. Not because I think men are selfish, insensitive creatures but because I don’t see myself that worthy. I will always fall short of a man’s expectations.

See, weirdness and terribly low self-esteem. I’m definitely going somewhere.

Shoot, three days to go.

One thought on “Thursday, in short, simple terms

  1. Judie my dear,its not weirdness, its a phase you’re going through.. developmental stages ng young adulthood- Intimacy versus Isolation. We’ll get by on this…

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