I feel myself metamorphosing silently to someone I would cringe at a few months back.
I have not told anyone this until now but when I was having my reading time last Friday, (something I have always preferred to do to a point of deliberately skipping group dates), I found myself wanting to be with someone whom I can talk to about the crazy week that was. I was texting a friend and was relieved to spill some details out, but I was unable to relay that feeling of lonely solace, as honestly, I didn’t want a female friend right there and then, if you know what I mean.
This is one of the many unfortunate situations I find myself into when April arrives.
It didn’t help that during the weekend, I watched a movie and a DVD of an English sitcom that enforced the feeling instead of distracting it.
“A guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, but I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us… need the eggs. ”
– Alvy Singer in Annie Hall
Sally : What do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with?
Patrick : Men.
– Coupling, Season 1 (reverse it and let Patrick do the asking)
Go figure out what I am feeling based on the quotes above. I know this will pass. It has to. I’m only human. Stiff and callous but insatiate.