I am overwhelmed with tons of things to do, I couldn’t bear complaining anymore. I’m on the verge of a panic attack because of my inherent desire to please people which is most often diffused by my inherent ability to cram, successfully or otherwise.
My mother told me that I grab more things than I can handle. It’s true and I have yet to feel the real desire to state it proudly. Notice how I refer to my activities negatively, as if I had no choice? I always have had one.
So… it’s understaffing, fulfilling a significant amount of time doing “other duties as assigned”, the company sportsfest (which is WAY bigger than I expected as a “volunteer”), the outreach, the training modules, the SOPs, the second edition of the newsletter, the ever-changing leave calendar, the reference file cabinet, my box of unpacked personal effects in the office (where the question “Why should we have tons of personal effects in the workplace?” springs), the correspondence course, the DVD project, etc etc etc.
While I managed, arm-twisting and all, some of the tasks above (better treat them as a checklist of things to do or else), I had the best time doing the DVD project. In a nutshell, I am launching my film career via the company instructional video. =) Really, I missed it as a veteran thick-face extra who only got to role play during company parties and training sessions. For a while there I thought of shifting careers. Maybe it’s my calling.
Anyway, there wasn’t much time to seriously contemplate on it because the tasks above are like hungry children waiting for their Mommy to give them food (and bathe them, rock them to sleep, read them stories, blah blah blah). And even though I have yet to face my fear of my graduate school status, I always ask for signs or doors opening that would tell me I can explore other options that involve learning though not in a classroom setup.
Then comes my RP, briefly taking me away from my “shooting”, to tell me he’s off to Tokyo in July for training.
*inggitera tendencies explode*
I joked that I would come with him and silently counted my travel miles.
See, I didn’t tell him I’ve always planned to visit the University of Tokyo ever since I took that Political Dynamics course last year.
Faced with the fact that I have less money to spend for a whole week in a place with a very high standard of living such as Tokyo, and my Mom telling me I cannot go without someone I know (“But the people I’ll meet there will become my friends!!!!”— which fell on deaf ears)— the only sign I was left clinging on to was if there’s someone I know who would go there. Honestly when I bumped into my gradeschool classmate last Friday I thought of it a tiny little bit.
Maybe Tokyo is ready for me.
That’s what I planned for myself anyway. With all the globalization theories supposedly enabling you to do anything without going anywhere, it’s always better when you experience the real thing.
Maybe July is the best time to kick things off.
Never mind if the money I’m expected to receive (midyear bonus, people) has been mentally allocated to pay credit card bills, the Bohol trip, the vanity escapade, and to buy my nieces and nephews school things (latest count is 10 heads). I’ll find a way.
So let’s see how all these unfold. For now, I should be going back to where I left off. I think it’s a draft reply to this annoying lawyer. And the complete list of other things to do are sure to follow suit.