spreading myself super super thinly

My computer is still broken. It would have been fixed if I already contacted someone to do the dirty work.

Anyway, I’m torn between going back to school and giving myself a “break” (from what, I have yet to find the exact term), so I can go back my long queue of books to be read. The underlying motive is to escape the pressure of deadlines. Part of me dictates I should carry on with school at least until March. Decisions, decisions.

Meron akong mahabang entry with matching reminiscing pa of my growing up years in the province. I ended up writing it down on Clementine (my big orange journal. VIOLET is my medium-sized travel journal.) I was inspired to do that because today is the culmination of the fiesta here in our area. Masaya ang piyesta na middle class, urban Manila-style. Maraming amateur contests. Lahat masaya. Ang panira lang, kapag may nangangampanya. Ang kinainis ko lang, pati simbahan hindi pinatawad nung malaking tarpaulin ni Lito Atienza at nung anak nyang si Ali. Sa totoo lang, aminado silang may tulog si Ali sa mayoralty race kaya dugo, pawis, at uhog, ginagawa na nila to campaign for him this early. Iboto natin yung kalaban nya, dali!

I like watching American Idol now. I don’t know why. And to that NY auditioner who asked if Simon Cowell even has a work visa to the U.S., well, he does. I was so pathetic to find out if he really does. Anyway, no harm done to anyone in finding that one out.  Plus, obviously, he would not be stupid enough to show his face in front of millions of viewers if he’s there illegally. 😉

There’s something I’m supposed to attend soon and until now I am torn between going or not going. And please, the idea of being with someone isn’t a strong motivating factor. Palabas ko lang yun. Well, I guess I should let decency and social manners prevail, kesa naman matulad ako sa “kanila”, because I already RSVP’d. Let’s see.

Corollary to above, educational background and profession aren’t really indicative of one’s manners. And undeniably, hindi automatic na ang asal ng tao ay nakakabit sa diploma. Basta. Especially with my Dad’s demise, meron ako mga nadiscover na nakakawalang-gana; as manifested in reactions, actuations, and even the line of questioning na talagang nakakainis. Worse, hindi nila alam na ganun sila. And kakabit nyan, yung ugali nung isang tao na matagal mo nang iniisip bakit ganun, marerealize mo na kasi may pinagmanahan naman pala. That’s what my Mom tells me na I should always strive to be a good person dahil everything that a person does, lalo na’t hindi pa ganun katandaan, lahat iyan, at some point, babalik sa tanong nang kung anong klaseng pagpapalaki ba ng magulang ang ginawa sa taong yun.

^^ Okay, I was just venting.

Tomorrow, it’s another day, one more day of spreading myself thinly. I’m amazed I even arrive at something productive.

Lastly, I am in an internet café, and if I’m not mistaken, at the same terminal where I typed my first few posts back when I’m still finding my way to the blogging world. Nice ‘no? 🙂

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