Time really goes by so fast. I mean really fast. I used to think that it happens only to people who have a lot of sensible things to do…like…work? But why do I feel it when I do less of that (work)? I just bum around the house after office. I had a three-day workweek last week so I should have done a lot of updates but zilch. Btw, the 3-day work week concept is cool. Heehee.
So, what about me? I was supposed to write something last Saturday…something about my faith in God, something about my fear of death…but I just lost the drive to do so. I really don’t know why. I got occupied reading other people’s blogs and chatting with my regular Saturday girls so there. Come Sunday, I woke up late, went to church, spent three hours in this cool ukay ukay store and a couple more choosing DVD titles across the block. I am dying to get a whole set of Akira Kurosawa’s films. I miss Chelli tuloy.
Today is yeah, Monday, and kanina, I was still on the road after 7:30 a.m. with no trace of guilt or worry that I am already late for the first day of the week. I am back to my confused self. While waiting for a cab, I thought of instances when I went to work excitedly…you know, with the drive to wake up early, ecstatic to sit down and do my work or at least what’s in store for the day, and feeling that everything is just rosy and happy. I remembered only four times: my first day at work, our consular field trip in 2003, our unit’s Customer Service Day in 2004 and the Credit Union’s General Assembly last December. Hehe, come to think of it, none of them is a regular office day. Contrary to my post about working my ass off, yes, it’s true, I take pride in it but most of the motivation comes from the obligation that is compensated by a rather good salary (it’s not that much but it’s pretty decent for a single woman like me).
So I thought, I must be hanging out with the wrong crowd (figuratively, of course— actually, that is just to avoid the term ‘mishandling my priorities’ crap months ago). Here I go again.
Since I believe that there ought to be a book about my work titled “Judith Is Just Not So Into You: The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Why She Is Not Working Passionately”, I thought of things to divert my attention from the activities that “take me away from my work”. I have to get into other activities involving less money, if possible.
So I decided to sign up for a language class.
I have to admit I’m so dead broke right now. I was a nice friend, lending a few hundred bucks to a friend in need, so I literally have a few bills to last me until Thursday. Yes, Thursday. So how will I pay for the course? Correct (think Kris Aquino)! Ask Mom for money. And even if it’s payday this week, I dunno if I can pay her back…it will have to be done in installments. I still owe her some…my savings got close to zero after my trip, that’s why. Impulsive buyer kasi eh. Hay nakuuuu!!!! The realities of life!!! Grrrrr!!!!!
Good luck to me.
I told my boss an hour ago that I should realize I am way luckier than most people my age but I’m wasting it without making a dent in any small sorta way, to think that I have all these friggin’ opportunities surrounding me. And yep, I didn’t hold back spilling the sentiment to MY BOSS…I know she sees it too but is just too nice not to talk to me and say that I suck as a deputy.
If I am not a human being who is supposed to go with the flow life, I don’t want to work sana, I want a lot of money, I want to read my books everyday, watch movies and eat whatever I want. Buhay baboy really just exist in dreams, what do you think?